


Bonding Ritual

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3964855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Gilfoyle hang out together and it leads to a hook up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonding Ritual

The impossible had happened. Dinesh actually had a date. Gilfoyle was livid. The world as he knew it was crashing down around him. He felt unusually anxious as he tried to get high and play video games to distract himself. 

He went to his room and opened Skype, scanning his contacts. None of the online relationships he carried on with people he’d met on Satanist message boards were what you would call deep, but they allowed him to talk about his day with someone and see boobs over video chat and occasionally even have a visitor. They helped him from really being hit with how alone in life he was. But, today the idea of talking to any of his Skype contacts just wasn’t helping and he was craving in person attention. 

He got up and paced the house. The usually crowded house was totally abandoned. He wondered how he’d ended up being the biggest loser in the group, alone with no plans. But, then it occurred to him there was definitely a bigger loser than him.

“Oh, hi,” Jared said with surprise as he opened the door of his new house.

“Do you want to get drunk with me?” Gilfoyle asked, holding up the bottle of rum he’d brought over.

Jared’s face lit up and he asked, “Like a bonding ritual?”

Gilfoyle ignored him as he walked into the house and headed straight to the fridge. He took out some orange juice and started making drinks. 

As Jared watched him, he said, “Oh...that drink looks a little alcohol-heavy for me.” 

“Time to toughen up,” Gilfoyle said, handing it to him. “You didn’t develop a tolerance drinking with your college acapella group until you were all ready to act on your bicuriosity?”

They took their drinks to the loveseat and sat down. 

“How do you guess things with such accuracy?” Jared asked. “I never told you I was in an acapella group in college.”

“Just from looking at you,” Gilfoyle said. “Does that mean the second part was accurate too?”

“Oh,” Jared said. “You mean about the bi...no. I never acted on anything.” He sipped his drink.

“Why not?”

“Um...to be honest, no one was interested in doing that kind of thing with me.”

“Why not?”

Jared looked at Gilfoyle with surprise. “Oh, you know,” he said. “My many flaws...which you point out fairly often…”

“Those are just things I say to give you a hard time. Most of which are true,” Gilfoyle said. Jared furrowed up his eyebrows as he tried to wrap his mind around that. “But that doesn’t make you not attractive. Just a laughable pussy with no sense of self-worth.”

“Thank you,” Jared said weakly.

“Still fuckable,” Gilfoyle added.

“Thank you,” Jared said a little more clearly. He looked at Gilfoyle curiously and asked, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Gilfoyle asked.

“In college did you ever…”

“I didn’t do that shit, remember?” Gilfoyle asked. “I focused on being amazing at what I do, not discussing why Ibsen was the first feminist or some shit.”

“Right,” Jared said. He felt too embarrassed to prompt Gilfoyle further about what he really meant.

“But in answer to your question,” Gilfoyle said after a second. “Yeah, I tried bicurious shit a couple times. I never thought of it that way, exactly.” He chugged some of his drink.

Jared tilted his head, politely waiting to see if Gilfoyle would elaborate. Gilfoyle finished off his drink and asked, “Make me another?”

Jared obediently made the drink. 

Gilfoyle took a sip of his refill and then said, “Uh, when I was younger I used to kiss this guy in my Bible study group.” He cringed a little and said, “I guess that’s kind of cliche. But, I don’t know, I thought he was actually the one person in my awful life who wasn’t totally mind-controlled. But then, one day...I don’t know. He got freaked out by it. Totally swerved. Stopped talking to me, got way more into the church stuff. He got engaged at seventeen and I think he has like nine kids now. All his Facebook statuses are Bible quotes.” Gilfoyle saw the way Jared was looking at him and said, “Not that I check his Facebook that often.”

“That’s interesting,” Jared reflected, taking a cautious, eensy sip of his drink.

“How so?” Gilfoyle asked, with an intense, warning look.

“Just...his reaction to having these impure thoughts in this oppressive environment was to try and rid himself of them, be completely on the straight and narrow...and yours was the exact opposite. Doing everything to make it clear you wouldn’t let these structures make you feel bad,” Jared said. 

“No. My reaction was to not let it define me at all and to naturally not feel bad because all that shit telling me to feel guilty is so obviously wrong that I never even think about it,” Gilfoyle said.

“Okay,” Jared said agreeably. 

Gilfoyle eyed Jared as he finished off his second drink. 

“I shouldn’t have been presumptuous,” Jared said. He wanted to change the subject so he asked, “Was there anyone else? You said you’ve tried it a couple times…”

“Oh. Yeah. More recently there was this thing with this musician I really like,” he said. “It was weird...just kind of a starstruck, I can’t believe you’re even talking to me so, sure I’ll allow your penis inside me now kind of thing.”

“Amazing,” Jared said, nodding. “I had that kind of admiration for the captain of my acapella group but he wouldn’t give me the time of day.” 

“Don’t ever compare this guy to anyone from an acapella group ever again,” Gilfoyle said.

Jared nodded and said, “Understood.”

Gilfoyle scooted closer to Jared and said, “You know, that’s the real reason you never got any action from any of these guys.”

“Because I compare everything to acapella? Because other acapella singers actually like--”

“No,” Gilfoyle said. “Because you were too hung up on this team captain guy. There were probably loads of guys who would’ve totally come all over you, but you were too hyperfocused on this one crush.”

“That is kind of what I do,” Jared admitted.

“You should, you know, look around more,” Gilfoyle said. “There’s lots of people out there.”

Jared looked at him uncertainly and asked, “Are you…”

“Yeah,” Gilfoyle said. “Let’s go to your bedroom.”

Jared smiled and took his hand. Gilfoyle thought that was dorky but kind of cute. He gave it a little squeeze and followed him. 

When they were on Jared’s bed, he looked at Gilfoyle, totally unsure of what to do. Gilfoyle started kissing him hard. 

Jared let his hands wander down to Gilfoyle’s ass, then immediately felt terrified of how angry Gilfoyle might get and moved them away.

“It’s okay,” Gilfoyle said in his ear before biting it hard.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jared told him as he put his hands back.

Gilfoyle smiled a little. That was definitely a new one. “Thanks, babe,” he said, kissing Jared hard before he started taking his clothes off.

“One thing,” Jared said. “This is against the rules…”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but everything we’re doing is against the rules. I’m building servers in an unzoned garage while you live in a house for free because we’re blackmailing someone with a horde of illegal ferrets. Everyone at this company breaks rules faster than you can post them on those silly little memos you post everywhere. At this point, you’re not getting the squeaky clean company you’re hoping for. You might as well get to fuck something.”

Jared groaned and pulled Gilfoyle’s body against him. “That is a very compelling argument.”


End file.
